A Fresh New Look

I have a lot of free time today (yes, aint I the luckiest person?!). So free that I am thinking what should I do to occupy my time. Hence I thought of updating my blog with a fresh new look. New colour scheme and new layout. Do you like 'em?

This makes me wonder: Humans are so fickle. We just love new stuffs. We sometimes get bored with whatever we are doing (such a routine we feel!) and we crave for new excitement. Do you feel that way too? Or you are the type of person whom like everything as it is and that you are afraid of changes?

Anyhow, as I was playing around with the settings and creating a new layout, I happened to land on the statistic page. I cannot believe what I saw. I am so utterly happy! I have never thought that I would have readers not just in Malaysia and Brunei, but in the States, UK, Australia, Germany, Austria, Estonia, Netherlands and Israel amongst others! I am stoked! Thank you so much for visiting my blog!

This post is specially dedicated to all my global readers wherever you are. Thank you for giving me the inspiration to continue writing on this little mini-diary about love, life and solidarity. This would give me (and us all) an opportunity to look back at our past experiences and the memoirs of life events that pierced deep into our hearts and mind as we grow older year after year.

Eventually, we will age and our memories will fade but our blog will remain as if it was written only yesterday...  

Thank you to all my readers from all over the globe!
Picture saved from candygurl81.blogspot's statistic page.

I Miss Hayden

Here I am sitting down on my couch watching tv, playing Cityville, scrolling through FB reading all my friends' status and pictures AND thinking of my baby Hayden all at the same time. I miss Hayden.....I miss my son....terribly!!

Hayden has been staying over at my mom's place since yesterday as I began my first day of work since my delivery date 2 months back. I was supposed to head over to Cheras after work today and I was since the clock striked 6pm. Getting out of my office area took me half an hour (usually takes only 5 mins). Getting to the highway took me 45mins (usually 10mins). At the highway to the middle of the highway took me 1 hour. Stopped. Crawl again. Stopped. Crawl again. I was only on neutral gear the whole time!!! Arrghh! Why must it rain today? Everytime it rains, traffic gets SUPER bad all the time. Finally, I knew its impossible to get back to Cheras unless I dont mind getting stuck for 2 hours on the road. Since my body is currently battling with the cold virus I decided to make a detour and head home instead.

I made a call to my mom whilst on the road, listening and talking to Hayden through the phone... as soon as I hear him cooing over the phone, my heart sank. I missed him. I miss him so so much! Sigh......

I need to see him no matter what before I fly off to Bali again this Friday. If my nose is not dripping with white slimy mucus by then, I will be kissing him all over!!

Hayden darling... Mummy miss you terribly. Mummy wants to hug you and smell you and kiss you. Love you sweetie pie!!

Alone

How does it feel to be left out all alone...to witness peers dating another, phone calls made with words of "I love you" uttered at the very end, couples holding hands singing, laughing and teasing whilst gazing into each other's eyes filled with emotion, passion and love.

Close friends may come running to you, grinning whilst whispering in your ear, "I'm getting married!" Ignoring your unadulterated feelings, you have no choice but to profess insincerity on feeling happy and melodramatic upon hearing the sensational news. But truly, deep within your soul, jealousy mounts, hoping and wishing you were in their shoe or rather wishing there is someone out there drawing you in, into the love-dating arena just like the rest of them.

There are moments where one would feel depressed for not being loved or not able to find one to love. A friend of mine once asked, "what is so wrong about me that I have no one to love or be loved?" The answer is relatively simple. There is nothing wrong. The right time will come, as one day, the sun will shine on your knight who will eventually come knocking on your window.

One should shave off the knots on the desperate needs and focus on personal pampering as staying happy is the key to many wonders that would be bestowed in one's life.

Be happy, be contented as being alone is not an ill-fated destiny but rather a mark of an unpredictable start to a beginning of a life.

Torn Between Two Lovers

"I love him, I love him not, I love him"...we engaged ourselves in romantic love movies from Anne of Green Gables to romantic novels akin to P.S. I Love You....hoping and wonder if ever we will live the life of the actress herself or perhaps, if ever so lucky, able to find our one true love as the novelist constantly depicts to her readers...

Loving one is sweet, but loving two is an art (or is it?) - an art of balancing harmoniously between passion and affection for 2 lovers at hand. Some may think it is a form of betrayal and deception to the other one's love but others may think it is an act of selfishness and greed for wanting both. What is the answer really?

Hannah once told me, "I do love both - my bf and my closet lover. I can't help it, I want both in my life". Why I asked, when will it end... there will never be one true definite answer to it.

Though one may claim to be able to divide her heart and receiving twin affection from two different individuals at the same time, deep down within her soul, she will constantly be restless. Love indeed is blind but the love for two has to end one way or the other...or she will never be able to feel complete. Yes, it is tough but it has to be done. Let one be hurt than three to live in constant anxiety and uncertainty.

Therefore, do not dwell into complication from the start and do not stage the art of loving two as you will never know how or when to draw the curtain close....
Be kind, be fair and be true to the ONE you truly love.